When it comes to conversation, sometimes less is more. People who speed-talk, interrogate, brag, blab the family secrets or don't allow you to have one single moment's peace of mind are control freaks. It's like they think that if they are not talking, that they don't somehow exist. It also makes you wonder if you are allowed to have a thought that is NOT about them.
Also, never get too sarcastic. One sure turn-off, for most dates, is the over-use of unsolicited sarcasm. A sarcastic type will tell you that sarcasm is actually a device that is used to charm or woo the opposite sex. That it is a form of humor or discourse that many find witty and entertaining. That it is a way to demonstrate superior intelligence, or your prodigious powers of clarity, precision and personal observation.
Sarcasm is an obvious defense mechanism that is used to mask or disguise something deeply twisted in the personality. Instead of being sarcastic, why don't you just wear a T-shirt that says "Needy, approval seeking and insecure." Most sarcasm sounds like criticism, and criticism (especially if it isn't asked for) is recognized nowadays as verbal abuse.
Never ever lie about your past. Let's face it. Not everyone comes with a clean resume when it comes to relationships. Almost everybody has big mistakes, embarrassments and down right tragedies in his or her past. The question is, how much do you tell your new partner and how much do you lie about it?
There are two schools of thought about this. I tend to lean on the side that says it is a big mistake to talk about your exes to the new amour. For one thing, it can arouse unnecessary jealousy. Take it from someone who has gone out with someone whose previous girlfriend was a supermodel. Believe me, you lie there wondering all night how you could possible compete with the past...
I believe that the less your partner knows about your sordid past the better, yet it is still a bad idea to lie to them if a certain subject that relates to your past comes up. The only possible exception to this rule is the "How many people have you slept with" question. If the number is over seventy and you are only twenty-five and female, it might be a good idea to subtract a few paramours.
"Never ever say I love you (unless you mean it)"
It is a cliche, but apparently playing "hard to get" actually works. It seems that the primal baby that is within all of us just can't stand being left out and ignored and will actually start seeking approval from those who seem to be withholding their affections. Both sexes are apparently turned off by displays of neediness and emotional security, so whatever you do don't reveal how lonely you are, don't reveal anything about your intentions and never ever beg for sex. And if you want to kill the potential relationship, completely, just utter these words "I love you" too soon into the relationship. As most women will tell you, it makes men run screaming for the hills.
Although most of us often feel compelled to be honest, it is not always the best approach when it comes to being a strategist in love. As twentieth-century wit Dorothy Parker said, "Spilling your guts is as ugly as it sounds...."
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